Wednesday, June 14, 2006

A New Kink

On occasion, I like to take to task some "new" little thing I see happening online, hold it up to the light, and see what it's made of. Now, I'm going to look at this "online BDSM". Seems to me, alot of people lately have taken to additions to what is the "in" thing to do, so I'll comment on that as well, and why I think it's all bullshit.
First of all, I'll say this. Everything I say is only my opinion and based solely on MY experiences. Do not take anything that I say to be cold, hard fact, unless you've researched it yourself and found it to be true, or it rings true with your own current beliefs.

There are some signs to look for when you're looking at "online BDSM". The most common is a person that bemoans the fact that their spouse is "too vanilla" and they are using the Internet to "explore". Another sign is when one lives between 200 and 12,000 miles from the other; the Dom in Europe and the submissive in the US is pretty common. The third most common is usually a female that has a different Dom's "tag" after a short amount of time, or alot of different tagged chat names. It's these signs that reveal what kind of bullshit is being tolerated. Then there is the new "kink du jour" - polyamoury.
Let's look at the first three first. Holding them up to the cold, harsh light of logic, and picking them apart for what they really are. First of all, the "too vanilla spouse" excuse. Yes, it's not a reason, it's an excuse. When a person took vows, part of them did state to "promise to love, honor, cherish and OBEY". Now all four of those sound like values held dear in the BDSM community, especially the "obey" part. So you took a vow you are now sitting on your computer about to break, because it's not very "honorable" to plan out a course to explore something you plan to exclude your spouse from. If it's important enough for you, then leave your vanilla mate and explore on your own; Let them find someone as vanilla as they are and try to live a stable, faithful life. Would you want to be excluded from something that would involve someone being intimate with your mate, touching and providing them pleasure of a kind that you simply aren't "into"? Simply put, it's cheating, and you are using your mate as a safety net, making your spouse an "option B". That is just wrong, and not something you do to someone you "love".
The second one; When one party lives a significant distance from the other. Now there are stories of people thousands of miles apart meeting, moving, and living happily ever after. Those folks made sacrifices, and are the exception, not the rule. If you are a submissive living in Idaho and your Dom is a bus driver living in Liverpool, England, THINK. Is he EVER going to have enough money to take a plane, come to Idaho, spend a week with you, and indulge every little thing he told you he liked? Or is it more likely that you're going to masterbating on webcam alot, while he is hiding in the computer room from the wife you didn't know he had?
Third, the Dom hopping subbie. We all see them, know them, and wonder HOW they can do that so often. It's really very simple. Some women are so desperate to "belong" that they will ignore every warning sign, excuse every kind of "bad behavior" for nothing more than a sense of belonging. Usually, it's someone with the first two excuses firmly in place, and if you point it out, you're "not tolerant", and "you're not supposed to judge". Well, I'm human and I'm going to judge people based on what they do and say. Online it's all I have to go by. Dom hoppers also NEED that sense of drama; Real life is usually bland and online drama gives them something to be victimized by. Notice how so many people rush to console someone that has been "decieved by a player Dom" or "dumped by a Dom that never planned to visit her anyways". Well, what were your last 15 "online relationships" that ended the same? How many times will you have an "online collaring" ceremony and 3 months later bemoan the fact that YOU got played?

My personal favorite, and the new "kink du jour" - Polyamoury, or commonly referred to as just Poly. A Dom with two or more submissives, one or more online, with one that he lives with, and the others visit on occasion. Now I got to give kudos to these guys, they have managed to find a way to get "new pussy", keep the "old pussy" around AND not have to deal with the standard jealousy, or even take any kind of responsibility for the well being of the multiple women that end up feeling used when it's all over with. But let's look at what polyamoury REALLY is. Poly means Many. Amour means Love. So polyamoury is simply Many Loves. Not Many Sex Partners, not Many Women in Multiple Cities That You Fuck When You Drop By. It's supposed to work both ways as well, but name the last time you saw a submissive with multiple "Masters". What is the most common is a Dom with a Switch submissive, and they BOTH are Dominanting the "new girl", so in effect, she belongs to both of them, although I don't think it's a stretch to know which one's dick will be in her most of the time, or which one she'll be tasked with "pleasuring" most often. I might would think it's simply numbers. Women outnumber men on this planet 4 to 1, and maybe every guy need 2 women, taking into account half are lesbians. But it never fails to amaze me, invaribly, one of these women are going to get dropped after the first few sexual encounters, and the Dom is going to be patted on the back for making the right decision in letting the other girl go. Correct me if I am wrong, but when you keep one person on tab when finding out if another person is better in bed, isn't that called "being a player" and more often just being a "cheater"? And I don't think it matters if it's 2 women or 15, or if they all eat each other into dripping masses of girlygoo each time they get together for HIS pleasure, one of the women is the Alpha, and if one of the new ones sucks better dick, that Alpha placement ain't gonna last long. Let's call it what it is; Some guy found a way to get more than one woman to suck his dick. It isn't poly, it isn't a "new kink", and it isn't about love, or dominance. It's about the sex, pure and simple, and I really have no sympathy when one of those women find that out, and then no one wants to be with her because she's simply "damaged goods"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i need to read this proper on a time i can concentrate ....looks to me you got a pint there i will let you know what i think later

Unknown said...

god im so glad im not the only one who think polyamoury is the stupidest shit ever invented.